Seasons

I woke up to cheerful birds singing this morning and remembered 

an entry in my Gratitude Journal several years ago... 

so I dug it out and decided to share it here.

Today I am thankful for seasons - I love them all!
I can never decide which is my favorite - Winter, Spring or Fall - 
Oh maybe Summer in its radiance - toasting, melting, sweet -
I enjoy the lazy evenings and walking in bare feet.
But then the first fall morning dawns with a hint of crispness in the air
and I'm sure I'd move to "Autumn" if I could make my residence there!
The brilliant leaves and shrubs - the pumpkins and scarecrows -
Fall festivals and candied apples - Tom Turkey - but don't you know...
It happens late one autumn night - the temperature drops way down
and old Jack Frost shows up to quietly paint the town. 
Then I'm hooked - 'cause Winter's come and brought the Christmas Spirit!
Oh yes, this season is so grand, with coats and hats and mittens!
Fudge and friends and fruitcake show up at every door
To put the coffee on and sit awhile is the very best solution!
The gifts - the glitz and then its time for New Year's Resolutions...
If we're lucky it will snow at least one time before the green buds show.
And then one morning you awake with a whistle - the birds are singing 
Spring is springing! 
Spring - thank God for the wonder... New life everywhere above and down under.
Nests and webs, sprouts and perfume - from the zillions of trees and flowers in bloom.
Oh yes, thank God for seasons! I love them each and every one!
And thank God for Family - and Friends - and for Fun!

The Red Convertible

Today, my precious husband, gave me a surprise College Graduation gift. A red, mustang convertible.

Now, I know every girl in town is envious of me... I'm so blessed, excited and SHOCKED! Jeff Chavis is a very frugal guy, and for him to purchase this car for ME... well - I know it held a private message. 

If you have heard my "red convertible" story - you know that for quite a while now - seeing a red convertible has been my "sign" from Jesus - reminding me to Let Him Drive!

The story is so personal - I have only shared it a couple places upon God's leading.

So here's my "Red Convertible" story...

I was at our Ladies Prayer Retreat in October 2007. My sister Debbie led one of our devotions using an illustration from a Max Lucado book about "Tucker Town" - A town where all the residents pushed their vehicles around all day - with engines running... they just liked DOING THINGS for themselves! Of course, they were tired, worn out souls, with no life! We all thought that was pretty silly - then the devotion took a quick turn and she talked about how we try to do things "in our own power". God doesn't want us to push our car around all day - nor does He want us to get in and drive it. HE WANTS TO DRIVE! 

So at the end of the devotion, I was on the floor - face in the carpet - pouring my heart out in prayer... asking God to help me with the struggle to "be in control"! With all of the hats I wore and the responsibilities on my shoulders at the time, I felt overwhelmed, overworked, under-appreciated and exhausted most of the time! I was the Pastor's wife of a busy church, music director, choir leader, church pianist... just to mention a few of my duties.

I have never had a "vision" before - but that morning - I had one.

I saw a huge Bus sitting in our Church parking lot. People were everywhere - getting on and off the bus - and I could see myself there - running around with clipboard in hand - trying to create order in the chaos. I was delegating everything; from getting the tires checked to getting a logo painted on the bus. People were interrupting me, asking me questions and I seemed to have an answer for all of them. I finally walked around and started up the steps to get on the bus. I remember thinking... "I wonder if Jeff (my husband) or Brocc (my son and the co-pastor) should drive?" I knew it should be one of them, but I felt torn as to which one should be the driver. When I boarded the bus, I looked up and saw a man sitting in the seat just behind the driver's seat. His eyes bored into mine and immediately I knew... this man was Jesus. The realization made me gasp and I asked Him the craziest question... I said, "What are YOU doing here?" 

Very kindly, he replied, "I'm here to drive the bus." 

"YOU?" I queried, in disbelief! (I just felt like He should have a more important role than the bus-driver!) 

He stood up and looked down at me - and begin to gently explain. "You know that I have plans for this Church. Prophesies have been proclaimed about my plans for your future. Much prayer has gone forth asking me to take you to a new dimension. So, I have to drive, if you want to get to the places I want to take you." 

I was still confused. "But what are WE supposed to do?" (speaking of myself and my family)

His words hit me like a brick. "Just sit down, and ride." 

"What? That's it? Just ride the bus like everybody else? I mean, shouldn't we be recruiting more people... or monitoring or SOMEthing?" 

"No... I just need you to sit down - and ride the bus."

I began to sob - and that's what I did for the next half hour or so.

Later, I shared this vision with the Ladies group - and wept - asking them to pray for me - that I could learn to just "Sit down and ride the bus!"

As the weeks passed, it became almost comical... I would be running around on a Sunday morning with my list of tasks - stressed to the max - trying to get everything up and ready to go for service. Invariably, one of my sweet friends would saddle up to me and whisper - "Just ride the bus, Sis. Chavis!" I would laugh and joke back... "Well, the bus has four flat tires this morning, so if I don't get someone motivated, no one's going anywhere, anytime soon!" 

But in prayer, I would seriously plead with God... "Lord, help me! I really don't know HOW to sit down and ride! I've been doing what I do for so long - I don't know HOW to stop!!"

Month after month passed, and my daily struggle continued. I prayed, cried and even fasted - asking God to TEACH me how to sit down so HE could drive!

In January of 2008 - we traveled down to the Because Of The Times Conference in Alexandria, LA. During one of the altar services, I crawled down between the pews and found myself again, praying my desperate prayer. I remember saying, "I don't know how to let you drive this bus, Jesus!"

And immediately - I was back in the first vision - same setting - same bus in the church parking lot - and I had the same clipboard... running around trying to get everybody on board with this project.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a red flash - so I turned to see what it was. Spinning into the parking lot - pulling alongside that big bus - was a Red Convertible - and JESUS was driving it! He just looked at me and smiled - then kind of tilted His head towards the passenger seat. He didn't have to say a word! I dropped my clipboard and ran around the car - opened the door and jumped in that convertible! As He popped it into gear - I remember saying, "Oh yes! I can DO this!!" 

All of my frustration, confusion and struggle was gone! I got up off of that conference floor changed and relieved! I did not know WHERE He was taking me and I honestly didn't care. I just knew He was driving and I wasn't! 

You see, just a few weeks after I got into that car with Him, I was diagnosed with breast cancer - and He drove me through the curvy, foggy roads of two surgeries - 33 treatments of radiation - months of uncertainty and fatigue... but it was all just a part of the scenery with Jesus driving! 

My son came home from college and took over the music. Darling saints stepped up and took on responsibilities I could no longer fulfill. I had finally learned how to sit down and ride. The peace of God surrounded me like a warm blanket, as I watched leaders emerge from the woodwork. People who would have never stood up, if I had not sat down.

From that day to this - when I see a Red Convertible - my heart flutters - because it reminds me - that HE IS IN CONTROL! Sometimes, before I even realize it, I will gasp out loud! My husband has learned not to be alarmed... its just a Red Convertible moment.

So, today... when he drove up beside me in that Red, Mustang Convertible... I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! Its a lovely car that anyone would enjoy driving and owning... but to me - its more than a car. Its a message.

A message I am living - one day at a time!

I'm letting Him drive...

Living the Blessed Life!

Proverbs 10:2 Tainted wealth has no lasting value, but right living can save your life.

"Hi Mrs. Chavis", the lady sitting in the foyer of the restaurant said kindly. I greeted her and looked closely - trying to figure out who she was. She looked vaguely familiar, but my mind was drawing a blank. Her hair and clothes were disheveled and in need of washing. She looked to be in her 70's and was obviously not in good health. And was that alcohol I smelled on her? I pushed these thoughts out of my mind and stepped closer... "I'm trying to remember where I know you from, sweetie". When she spoke her name to me, I tried not to show my surprise. Could this be true? This was not an elderly woman! She was younger than me! My mind was flooded with the memories of her story... Living in a small town, you hear things about people...

Her husband was one of the wealthiest and most prominent men in our town. He owned several properties and when he divorced his wife (who was the Mayor of Spring Lake!) well... it made the headlines. Of course days after their divorce was final, he married a beautiful young woman - nearly 25 years younger than him - whom he had been living with. 

And now she sat looking up at me - 25 years later... unrecognizable. I sat down beside her and said, "It's so good to see you Cynthia... how have you been?" She began to pour her heart out to me. She pulled up her pants leg to show me a bandage - telling me how desperately she needed our church to pray for her. A six month old wound was not healing because of a circulatory blockage. She told me that she needed surgery to save her leg, but that she had no insurance. When I asked about her husband, she told me that he was in an Alzheimer patient in a sanitarium... and that all of his estate had been absorbed by the nursing homes and twenty-four hour care he needed for the past ten years. She only had one of the rental homes left, where she now lives... in near poverty. 

By this time the rest of our group was exiting the restaurant, and I gathered them to pray for this precious lady. We anointed her with oil and prayed a prayer of healing and blessing over her. She sobbed and promised to come to church... and then she claimed her healing right there. We rejoiced with her and I gave her our church card and contact information.  

My husband and I drove home reflecting on the last few times we had seen this family. Her husband owned a Garden Center where we frequently went for plants and such... we recalled how vehement he was against religion, God and Christians. I remember that his young wife would just shake her head and smile, because she went to church occasionally, and he would just rant about her wasting her time and his money. When the Garden Center closed, we heard through the grapevine that he was ill and that they had lost the business... and then later that he was in a nursing home. 

In my Bible reading this morning, this verse in Proverbs reminded me of the life of this couple. He was a millionaire - a prominent man in our city. She lived the high life. Wanted for nothing... but tainted wealth has no lasting value. When we come to the end of our days... right living is what will sustain us and give us hope! I am so grateful for my life today. I may not have tasted of the wealth of this world, but I'm living the BEST LIFE! I'm living a BLESSED LIFE! And I thank God for every breath!

 

Stop Whining and Get a Grip!

Happy New Year!

Lamentations 3:21-23 has always been a favorite passage of mine-
"This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness."
 
And I am sure I've read that passage in context as I have read through the Bible many times. 
Today I read it in "The Message" translation. Now, let me preface this by saying that I LOVE the King James Version - it is my #1 baseline translation of the Bible. However I do like to read parallel translations just to get a better grip on the meaning of a particular passage as I study. 
I also consulted Matthew Henry's commentary and found this note: "Some think Jeremiah makes these complaints, not only as an intercessor for Israel, but as a type of Christ, who was thought by some to be Jeremiah the weeping prophet, because he was much in tears and to him many of the passages here may be applied." Reading this chapter, you can certainly understand why the book of Lamentations is so named... in our day this kind of "lamenting" is often called complaining - or whining... 
Here's an excerpt...
1 I'm the man who has seen trouble, trouble coming from the lash of God's anger. 
2 He took me by the hand and walked me into pitch-black darkness. 
3 Yes, he's given me the back of his hand over and over and over again.  
4 He turned me into a scarecrow of skin and bones, then broke the bones.  
5 He hemmed me in, ganged up on me, poured on the trouble and hard times.  
6 He locked me up in deep darkness, like a corpse nailed inside a coffin.  
7 He shuts me in so I'll never get out, manacles my hands, shackles my feet. 
8 Even when I cry out and plead for help, he locks up my prayers and throws away the key.  
   (Wow... have you ever felt like this?)
9 He sets up blockades with quarried limestone. He's got me cornered.  
10 He's a prowling bear tracking me down, a lion in hiding ready to pounce.  
11 He knocked me from the path and ripped me to pieces. 
     When he finished, there was nothing left of me.  
12 He took out his bow and arrows and used me for target practice.  
     (Poor guy... he's talking about GOD treating him like this... 
     can you say "depressed"?)

13 He shot me in the stomach with arrows from his quiver.  
14 Everyone took me for a joke, made me the butt of their mocking ballads.  
15 He forced rotten, stinking food down my throat, bloated me with vile drinks.  
16 He ground my face into the gravel. He pounded me into the mud.  
17 I gave up on life altogether. I've forgotten what the good life is like.  
     (Can you relate yet?)
18 I said to myself, "This is it. I'm finished. God is a lost cause." 
     It's a Good Thing to Hope for Help from God  
19 I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed. 
20 I remember it all - oh, how well I remember - the feeling of hitting the bottom.  
    (Okay... here comes my favorite part!)
21 But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, 
    I keep a grip on hope: 
22 God's loyal love couldn't have run out, 
    His merciful love couldn't have dried up. 
23 They're created new every morning. 
    How great your faithfulness!  
      (This is so awesome... keep reading!)
24 I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left.  
25 God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks.  
26 It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. 
27 It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times. 
28 When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence.  
     (Here's some great advice!)
29 Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. 
30 Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face. The "worst" is never the worst. 
     (Wow... great insight!)
31 Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return. 
32 If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.  
33 He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way:  
34 Stomping down hard on luckless prisoners,  
35 Refusing justice to victims in the court of High God, 
36 Tampering with evidence - the Master does not approve of such things. 
     God Speaks Both Good Things and Hard Things into Being  
     (What? See... some people don't think this is true - 
     but its in the Word!)
37 Who do you think "spoke and it happened"? It's the Master who gives such orders.  
38 Doesn't the High God speak everything, good things and hard things alike, into being?  
39 And why would anyone gifted with life complain when punished for sin?  
     (This is a powerful concept! Life is a Gift from God! Yet some    
    say "It's MY life! I'll live MY life the way I want to!" They don't 
    think God should give them guidelines or rules to live by? 
    Think again!
40 Let's take a good look at the way we're living and reorder our lives under God. 
     (Great place to start a New Year's goal-setting session!  
     Reordering... reevaluating... re-prioritizing... 
     Yep! It's gonna be a GREAT year!!) 

Completion

I am innately a procrastinator... and I get sidetracked. I have been accused of having too many irons in the fire and not finishing projects. However, I will defend myself by adding to my list of confessions... "I work better under pressure!"
Having said that - please understand - I LOVE the feeling I get when I have accomplished a task. I like to make "To Do" lists, mainly for the gratification of checking items DONE off my list!
As this year closes, I am feeling immensely accomplished! I have finished my Bachelor of Science Degree Program in Alternative Medicine! Every day since my first class in August 2008 until my final exam on December 17, 2011, was a challenge. I learned to structure my time and LIFE to fit around an internet connection and the college deadlines I was given. We traveled more in ministry than we ever have before; and yet I managed to keep it all together. (Dare I mention that I made the Dean's List with a 4.0 every single semester? To God be the glory!) I burned the midnight oil and set my alarm hours earlier just to keep the pace. So here I am - at 52 years of age - and I've finally FINISHED something major on my bucket list!
I am excited to see what Twenty-Twelve and the future holds. I know that Jesus has never left my side. I have leaned on Him... felt His nudge and urging to succeed. I have rested in His confidence and approval. He has been my strength and has ordered my steps all the way. The details He worked out were amazing... and many times, I KNEW He was purposefully orchestrating calendars and timelines to accommodate me. (For example... my Dad passed away in April of 2010. It was no small thing to me - nor could I see it as a coincidence - that his last week on this earth was during my Spring Break... I was able to give my undivided attention to him and my family.)
My husband has also been amazing. His support and consideration of my work-load were second to none. (He should get some kind of Diploma or Award for putting up with me!) I tried not to allow my college work to alter our lifestyle and ministry... but I do feel if anyone got short-changed it was Jeff. I could not have finished this degree without him! Late nights and early mornings became the norm for me - and he kept me balanced and took me "away" from it all every chance he could, (always making sure I had a strong wireless internet connection!) I think he is really the only one in my family who understands how hard I worked to get through the program.
So... I have never been where I am right now. I am walking in unfamiliar territory. Will my career take off and pay off? Will I have to get a J.O.B. to pay for these student loans? What lies ahead? I may not know the answer to these questions... but I do know that God is in control and in charge of my life. When cancer knocked at my door in 2008 at the beginning of this journey, God gave me this scripture... Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." NIV

He is God and I'm not... and that thought gives me peace! Twenty-twelve... here I come!

The Third Dimension: Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall

The Third Dimension: Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall

"The Girl Nobody Sees"

(This is the last post in a series of four on this subject)

This girl hides deep within your pain. Her image has been emblazoned into the core of your being by the people you love the most.

She may occasionally show her face as:

            Comedian

            Rebel

            Anger-Rage

            Shyness

As I mentioned in my first post in this Mirror, Mirror Series; the authors John and Staci Eldridge, in their book entitled, "Captivating", believe that every little girl is born with these questions burning in their soul... "Am I lovely? Do you see me? Do you want me? Am I captivating?"   

Unfortunately, many times the people we love are themselves dysfunctional or unsafe people. When they are the ones giving the answer to our questions – we get confused.

     

     We interpret this by feeling one of two ways...

• I'm not enough (disappointment)

• I'm too much (overwhelming)

This is wrong programming. Wrong information is dumped into our brain and we accept it as truth. When we begin to look to “people” to identify and validate us… we are setting ourselves up for failure.

I recently plugged my phone into the charger - well... I thought I was plugging it into its charger. Actually I had grabbed the cord to my Bluetooth. Immediately a message came on the screen of my phone that intrigued me... It read, "Wrong Power Source". 

     When we turn to people to meet our needs or 

     to fulfill our lives - they are incapable. No wonder

     we end up feeling let down, depressed and 

     devastated. We're plugged in to the wrong 

     power source!

Only Jesus can meet these needs!

Husband can’t – momma can’t – kids can’t – career can’t – not even our THERAPIST can!

The result of all this pain - is a WOUNDED SPIRIT. Burying this pain can cause bitterness and bitterness will poison your spirit and destroy your soul.

Proverbs 18:14 The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?  

Hebrews 12:15

Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;  

A root wraps around other roots and when it is pulled up it affects all the plants growing around it. Bitterness affects everyone in our lives.

Okay... so what to do about it? I don't want to just point out the problem without pointing you towards the solution.

The key to healing a wounded spirit is forgiveness.

I recently learned these four steps of forgiveness. Pray through these steps and allow God to see the Girl That Nobody Sees. Release her pain and receive healing.

  1. Forgive and release –  tell God WHAT happened. Call 

      names. Re-live the pain again… then release it. (From this 

      moment I forgive and release this resentment, hatred and 

      bitterness against ________. I release all feelings of anger, 

      helplessness and hopelessness because they no longer 

      serve me on my spiritual journey.)

   2. Ask God to forgive the person who wounded you. – Acts  

       7:59-60 Stephen prayed,"Lay not this sin to their  

       charge…"   Jesus prayed, "Father forgive them…"   

       Now... take it a step farther and ask God to not only      

       forgive them, but to forget it, and never make these 

   people pay for their actions. 
3. Forgive yourself – verbally (abortion, molestation, 
    adultery, fornication, poor choices) 

    (As of this moment, I forgive myself for __________ and I 
    release all resentment I have held against myself for this 
    failure.)

4. Forgive God – for allowing the pain, hurt, injury. 

    (molestation, rape, abuse, death of a child) 

    (God, although you knew what was happening to me - 

     and you did nothing to intervene - I forgive You and I 

     accept what happened as Your divine purpose for 

     my life. I trust that You felt it was necessary for me to 

     become the person You desire me to be.)

 

Reflections

Look within that mirrored glass,

Look through the failures in your past

Look beyond your hair and eyes

Look behind your alibis

Don’t let this day grow into years

You mustn’t live up to your fears

Dreams unborn, hopes unspoken,

Tears un-cried, will unbroken

Unsung songs, books unwritten

Unsaid words, withheld forgiveness

It’s “Clear your heart time”

Unleash your wisdom

Abundant Life is HOW you live it

Set her free! She’s your best friend.

She’s the one – you hide within.

wwc - 1998

Trust Issues

Some of my earliest memories involve being in the car with my family. We lived in southern Ohio... very hilly terrain... which facilitated exhilarating rides when Dad was driving. One second, you're sitting mesmerized in your seat with the sun flickering through the trees - in an almost hypnotic daze - then suddenly the road drops out from under the car and your stomach is in your throat! There were no seat-belts in those old vehicles, and bodies would be catapulting into each other... and the silent meditative state was interrupted with little girls squealing and my Mom's sweet, but firm voice - "Stanley". That was always her response... just "Stanley"... (being interpreted as "Why in the world do you always speed over these dips when you know you're going to cause chaos?")

Immediately, my sister Debbie would start begging, "Slow down Dad... please slow down!" (Debbie is four years older than me - and she was always trying to keep everybody calmed down and behaving... come to think of it, she still is!) However, when we hit that first DIP in the road - I knew that there were about five more coming before we got to our house... I would be hanging over the back of the front seat - yelping... "Faster, Daddy!Go faster - faster!" He couldn't get too fast for me! At four years of age, this was the highlight of my day! "Faster! Faster, Daddy!" Only Mom's steady repetitions of "Stanley" ...and Debbie finally melting into tears - kept Dad from shooting us off the side of the hill into outer-space! At four years of age - my Daddy was my Superman... I trusted him explicitly and believed with all my heart that he could do anything!

Flash forward ten years... traveling that same road - I remember holding a pillow in front of my face as I held my breath and prayed for God to get me out of the car safely away from this maniac driver!

What changed? I had the same Dad. He had not changed. But something had DEFINITELY changed in me! I just didn't trust him at fourteen like I had at four. No... he had never ran me off a cliff or lost control of the car... but I had a lot more knowledge about safety and limitations of vehicles than I had ten years prior. Had my wisdom caused me to lose faith?

For some reason I have been contemplating this question lately. 

Why is it so hard for us "mature Christians" to trust God?  

The new Christians have all the faith in the world! Us older and wiser saints, just smile and shake our heads as we observe their excitement and enthusiasm. We remember those days of unwavering faith! But what's changed? We still have the same God. He has not changed. 

Have we seen too many people die of cancer to believe that He is STILL the Healer? Have we seen too many marriages break up to believe that He can STILL revitalize relationships? Have we seen too many families file bankruptcy to believe that He can STILL perform financial miracles?

I know this... 

Knowledge is powerful. But knowledge must not compromise Faith! 

The knowledge of this world cannot comprehend the supernatural power of God! We must not allow our maturity level to squelch our trust level. I pray that God will give me the grace to keep on trusting Him - even though my understanding has been clouded by my knowledge...

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him. 

How I've proved Him o'er and o'er.

Jesus, Jesus. Precious Jesus.

Oh for grace to trust Him more.

Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. 

Mark 9:23  

And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: 

for with God all things are possible. 

Mark 10:27